'===========================================================================
' Subject: DOCTOR STUPID (REALLY STUPID)      Date: 03-04-97 (21:54)       
'  Author: Jason Lashua                       Code: QB, QBasic, PDS        
'  Origin: rms015911@interramp.com          Packet: MISC.ABC
'===========================================================================
'
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'                  DOCTOR STUPID - A WEIRD A.I. GAME BY
'             JASON LASHUA (AKA NEURALFRAUD) . PRESS F5 TO RUN
'
'            IF YOU MODIFY THIS, GIVE ME CREDIT WHERE IT IS DUE!
'           I WASTED 17 MINUTES ON THIS THING. .. SOOO... LIKE IT!
'
'             YOU CANNOT TYPE COMMA'S IN THE PHRASES.. ..
'
'
'
'
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'
' All this does, is setup the random numbers.
'
RANDOMIZE TIMER
t = RND * 100
d = RND * 10
I = TIMER * RND
RANDOMIZE TIMER + d + RND * 10
FOR u = 1 TO RND * 100: j = RND * 5: NEXT
RANDOMIZE t + TIMER
'
' the game starts here.
'
CLS                                      ' clear screen
DIM n$(200)                              ' max #of replies = 200
FOR a = 1 TO 49                          ' cycle through all 49 replies
READ n$(a)                               ' read reply #n (0 to 49)
NEXT a                                   ' do it again
PRINT "DOCTOR STUPID V1.0 - LOADING DATA."; : SLEEP 1: PRINT "...READY"
PRINT
PRINT "Hi there, I'm Doctor Stupid, How are you doing today?"
PRINT "to exit, type 'CAN I GO NOW DOCTOR STUPID?'"
DO                                       ' setup the game loop.
COLOR 8 + RND * 7                        ' random colors
INPUT "", a$                             ' get input from user
a$ = UCASE$(a$)                          ' make all input upper-case
IF a$ = "CAN I GO NOW DOCTOR STUPID?" THEN GOTO leave  ' magic phrase
COLOR 1 + INT(RND * 8)                   ' more random colors
40 g$ = n$(1 + INT(RND * a))             ' try to avoid repeating
IF INSTR(h$, g$) > 0 THEN GOTO 40        ' try to avoid repeating
IF LEN(h$) > 1000 THEN h$ = MID$(h$, 50) ' shorten
h$ = h$ + g$                             '
PRINT g$                                 ' print the reply
FOR f = 1 TO d: NEXT                     ' cycle through numbers
LOOP                                     ' loop
'
' the exit procedure....
'
leave:
PRINT "why do you want to go?"
INPUT a$
'
' if  the word "because" or "none of your" is found.. give the user bullshit
'
IF INSTR(a$, "because") > 0 THEN PRINT "Because isnt good enough.. now, let's try again..": SLEEP 2: GOTO leave
IF INSTR(a$, "none of your") > 0 THEN PRINT "Wanna get smart? ok.. i see... fine.. leave.. muthafukka!": SLEEP 2: CLS : PRINT "THANK YOU FOR TRYING DOCTOR STUPID! (C)1997 JASON LASHUA": END
IF a$ = "" THEN PRINT "i need a REAL reason before i can let you go.....": SLEEP 2: GOTO leave ELSE PRINT "OK, fine.. buh-bye ... come back again!": SLEEP 2: CLS : PRINT "THANK YOU FOR TRYING DOCTOR STUPID! (C)1997 JASON LASHUA": END
GOTO leave
'
'This is where Doctor stupid get's his replies....
'
DATA "oh, and why not?"
DATA "intreguing..."
DATA "don't SNAP at ME!"
DATA "don't you have anything intelligent to say?"
DATA "i was unaware of that, please explain more..."
DATA "i am really getting sick of this, go away."
DATA "talk about not getting the point...gesh"
DATA "i think so..."
DATA "Look!, it's cap'n crunch... and he's inviting you to lunch!"
DATA "i like it here, do you like it here?"
DATA "i'm not certain that's feasible"
DATA "do you suck dicks?"
DATA "are you a peter puffer?"
DATA "i bet you're the type of guy that'd fuck a person up the ass and not even        have the common decency to give him a reach around. i'll be watching you"
DATA "only steers and queers come from texas, and you dont look to much like a steer    to me..."
DATA "can i shoot you and get it over with?"
DATA "what's wrong?"
DATA "do you feel ashamed by your actions?"
DATA "what do you think?"
DATA "sorry, cant help you there"
DATA "i could arrange that"
DATA "i see that happening REAL soon..."
DATA "yup"
DATA "yes"
DATA "no"
DATA "ahahaha"
DATA "jungle bunny."
DATA "oh c'mon baby!"
DATA "wanna kill somebody?"
DATA "thats illegal you know"
DATA "you can go to jail for that.."
DATA "your death"
DATA "do i have to give you a reason??"
DATA "what the fuck do you expect from me negroid?
DATA "go eat some twinkies"
DATA "do you interract with other beings?"
DATA "what are the voices in your head telling you...?"
DATA "don't we all?"
DATA "that doesn't supprise me for some reason"
DATA "oh god, you're giving me an errection!!! Stop it!"
DATA "lickedy lick lick lickedy lick lick"
DATA "balls..."
DATA "spem..."
DATA "muff..."
DATA "cheese"
DATA "vaginal blood fart"
DATA "it's illegal to do that.."
DATA "have phun."
DATA "cool"
DATA "i'm bored"
DATA "here, have a beer, you need it"
DATA "what is your favorate color"
DATA "my dick hurts.. "
DATA "my balls hurt"